Hypnotizing Notepads

4th October 2010

1.18pm



An indolent damsel is typing on her laptop, as she refused to take her bath. Although it has been late in the afternoon, she prefers typing to cleaning up. What an indolent damsel! Ckckckck.



These days, as I open my laptop, I always end myself reading notepads. I’ve read them for numerous times, keep on repeating again and again, but I never feel bored of the same reading materials. It’s not that the notepads bring me novel knowledge about science. No. It’s not that the notepads will broaden my knowledge. No. They’re nothing compared to 3:16. There is nothing special in them, since they are merely a letter to someone else and a message between two guys. However, I can’t understand myself of having abundant of interest to keep on reading. Am I a weirdo?


One thing that makes me keep on wondering and hoping is: the message between a fell-in-love guy and my senior. In the message, he said that he would confess his to me. However, those moments were furnished a couple months ago, but why I keep on hoping something which is least likely to be possible? We are cousin-oh-cousin, and relationship between relatives is forbidden by my religion or any religion.


Some people tell me not to ignore him, but I’m not suggested to start over for the second time. Some people suggest me to get far away from him before I get hurt for the next time. Someone suggests me to forgive and to love him. Some people say that he is a hypocrite, creating a fabrication. Some people scold me for being so stupid.

There are so many options for me. However, everyone always advises me to take a wise decision out of those. I have my right in this case.
In my opinion, I always choose no less than one option. There are abundant, and I may collaborate each into a good decision. Nonetheless, I can’t do it in this case. I’m stuck.



So, me, as a helpless human, I send my request to God, praying to him. He will surely lead me with his hands.



I have forgiven him although he never asks for it.

P.S.: Russian?

With faith,

-irene.rene. -