Overthink

17th August 2010 - 7.42pm

Seems that I update my blog everyday ya? HAHA. Anw, Happy Independence Day for my hometown, Indonesia. I hope to see no more racist and crisis anymore. LOL.

Actually, if I think twice or even thrice, Indonesia isn't my hometown, but it is a country where I was born at. It should be Malaysia. LOL. Nevertheless, I am perfectly proud to be an Indonesian, as people are stereotyping that Indonesian are wealthy and smart. HAHA. Am I smart? :p

I am so curious about the day where Abet will meet me in Singapore. Will it be fun? I wanna stroll along Orchard all the way. I miss Orchard :'(

One thing for sure, I wanna reach Novena. I miss moments with Christya there, where we used to stay together and supper together in master-room. HAHA. I miss Christya so much much much! I think Novena will make a memory for me (again) with another person. A sweet memory :))

One thing that I have mentioned in my previous posts, I mean, I kept on mentioning my wish at my three last posts that I want him to fulfill my life. It's my wish, and I'm not really hoping it to be real, because I have been spanked by reality. What happens next doesn't meet my expectation. Spanked! Hurt! Reality is hurt, sometimes.

If I may admit, I am so afraid of the probability that he is able to fulfill my life. Sorry, TOO afraid of the probability. I'm so scared.

First. Distance. It's a long way between our countries, yet, he is separated far away from this continent. He stays in somewhere urban called Seattle. :')

Second. Time. I don't know why this earth has to rotate all the time. Can God be fair that all countries have the same time? So, we don't need to count on the difference, and we can save one chapter in Physics learning about GMT. Wew. Time difference has made a lot of problems, though. Jet lag, for an example. Oh God, I can't imagine how people will think about it. They undergo the same day for twice. This is not buy 1 get 1 free! Argh! If I put myself inside his shoes, I will feel definitely so weird. Undergoing the same day for twice. It's not funny.

Third. Attitude. Frankly speaking, I think I will be separated far away from him for a very long time. As what I have predicted, I will pursue my study in Australia to achieve my Bachelor ASAP. Then, I have to go back to Singapore to work for three years to support my siblings. After that, I can go to anywhere I like, but I'm sure that I will be attached with my job. So, how about him? I think, he will be an American after being accepted as PR or marrying an American. Sigh. I hate American.
God, is there any chance that we can meet later? I admit that I'm ego, and I don't want to let somebody disappear from my life suddenly for a reason: distance.


God, whatever I have written in my previous paragraphs, You know that I am hopeless about it. Nonetheless, God, I know You are the one who execute everything, either it will be real or not.

I'm pretty sure that whatever I think that the probability is 0, in the end of the day, it will be 0.8, or even 1. So, God, if you can see something good for me and my life, I'm sure that You will implement my wish.

P.S.: I hope he enjoys his life while accompanied by me at his side (not as a girlfriend, for sure).

17th August 2010 - 8.14pm



with lotsa hope and wishes,


-dreaming.queen.viper-