Abyss - 12 Oct 2015

Dear self,

I know life is very hard right now. Nothing ever comes up right - not even one except your relationship with your fiancee. Deep down, you wonder if Jesus listens to your silent prayers. You are worried. You are sick of going through the same situation for a couple of years, and it gets harder by time. Worse, you cannot see any hope ahead.

Thus, you get worried and weary inside.

I know your fiancee made you disappointed when you proposed resignation decision. I know you were angry with many - with your boss, your disrespectful clients and your mom. Everything has been messed up, and you lose your patience and clear mind.

It seems and feels like your strength in Jesus has failed.
The tribulations have successfully conquered you entirely.
It looks life better ends than moving on.

Rather than looking at facts, you forget who stand beside you. They may not be present all the time like your problems exist all the time. Trust me, they are all very precious and matter to you. They love you.

How you can always to your fiancee when life looks extremely ugly and horrible to live in.
How your doctor friend helps you by prescribing lowest price and give advises
How you are accepted in your fiancee's family during your travel
How you are deeply loved by your fiancee's relatives
How much you laughed when you traveled Jakarta and PIK
How much you hugged and smooched each other when travelling
How much you enjoy good dessert at Jakarta
How much you have grown with your fiancee closer and stronger

and your cg friends and their prayers.

I admit my fiancee has been playing a great and important role in my life during my life crisis.

Now Jesus, attend to my prayers and cries, Lord.

Psalm 34

Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.

18 If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

19 Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.

Much love,

Irene, x