Seeing how much I have been torn apart both spirit and soul from late 2013 until end 2014, I honestly admit that living life - wherever it is, you definitely need an almighty God.
Logically thinking, some must have been thinking that living life in Indonesia is plain simpler than in merlion city - enjoying living beyond standards, enjoying lighter work competition and returning back to where you used to belong. Unfortunately, the idea is not as simple as the reality. You have been living in red dot city for several years - much interacting with locals on daily basis, growing up together with locals, thinking and working like locals and eventually, you are transformed into a literal local.
The moment I stepped into the city where I used to live in, I was struck with amazement and sense of fear within. I had completely 'forgotten' the culture of where I used to belong. It was time to adapt again, I thought.
Apart from difficulty of facing rejection and communication barrier (simply because I am different from local Indonesian here), I have to bear the pain of family member who happened to burst in anger and fury because of prolonged depression on daily basis. The pain coming from both external community and internal family is extremely excruciating for one year. Who would think that I could survive the pains? I myself have pleaded before God to pass the cup before me with much tears and prayers.
But then, if you are chosen to undergo maturity process, who can deny?
Looking back, I conclude that 2014 has been a year of maturity with excruciating pains. Not forgotten, the year where I encountered few unsuccessful relationships.
All in all, I learn to love and accept people whole-heartedly in 2014.
I have decided to remain in this city in 2015. The year after 2015, I might have moved out from this city. I know, I will not remain here for long.
Gratitude,
Irene, x
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