Have Your Way in me.

30th August 2012.

In a glance, everything seems to be okay. Looking at myself, no one can believe what happened behind the wide carved smile and strong cheek bones. No one knows, only Jesus and I.

Discouraged by my close spiritual sister, I am so afraid to get hurt again. It's true, if you reveal too much about yourself and expect people to give concern (encouragement or at least, a good concern), well that person can easily hurt you with word of discouragement (or perhaps, a sense of ignorance about what happened).

After that tragedy, I really refrain myself from confiding in people. No one.

Everything seems to be completely dark and plain.

God seems to be silent. Waiting seems to be dreadful.

But yet circumstances threaten me.

I can do nothing to fix my life

but yet my life is in the brink of complete destruction.

My world is shaken, yes, greatly shaken.

In a glance,

my lack-of-understanding mind believes that

He's going to take everything in my life.

I really think that He's done with my life.

My hopes are crushed to bottom line.

Trusting Him seems to be painfully hard.

I wonder if His grace remains unchanging.

This is my complete surrender.

Still, I stand in awe of what You have done at the cross for me.

Do what You desire.

I completely surrender.

Even if You want to call me Home

to know You forever

to love You for eternity.

much love,

Irene, xxx