God, Bless My Dad, Please

Hello (bonjour), fellas :)

Holiday has been so tiring for no reasons these days, sigh.

Anw, my Christmas eve was so pathetic. I only stayed inside my room, chatting with my mom. Somehow, I miss my dad whom I never know any news about anymore. God hasn't opened his mind yet, so my mom (still) hates him a lot. We, their children, are those who feel pathetic of our family. No one can figure out what has happened between mom and dad. Mom keeps it unspoken. Dad never keep in touch with us since his departure to Jakarta a couple years ago.

Dear dad,

I think I must be grateful that I still have you in my life. Last time (okay, flash back to what I've observed), one of my friends had lost his dad. His dad (eventually) died after surviving from cancer for years. I still remember that he told me that he planned to study communication in Australia, but something happened that he cancelled it. Suddenly, he was accepted to medical faculty in North Sumatera University. I vividly remember that his dad still could purchase for him some recommended medical books. After listening to such news, I shed my tears over it. You know, his dad had gone through many battles in his life.

Now, dad, I don't know what you're doing, where have you been (precisely your address), what is your latest contact number, what is your occupation, anything. I know nothing about you now. Even if you're knocking in front of my door room, I might not recognize you. Your appearance alters, as well as mine. I'm not an obedient girl with straight silky hair anymore. The only thing remains is: my rabbit front teeth that you miss a lot.

Dad, do you still remember the mansion in Malibu which we (the whole family) used to stay together? It was the first castle in my life. I clearly remember that I brought my first prize into that home. You know, I have my motivation after staying into that mansion. I used to watch the dawn every evening. I used to bring another new doll into that house every weekend. I start everything from that mansion- my achievement, my memory, my mini little sister, my first tasty and delicious mom-cook curry, and everything.


Then, I always remember that you always hated my ex boyfriends. How great they were in my eyes, you always hate them as if they were your biggest foes. Whatever, you can't let me to fall into guys. That's alright, dad. I admit that you're right. Now, I can see what do you mean after years. I've realized that I just can't date like nobody's business whenever I have my crush. Crush is merely crush, no more.

Somehow, I can't control the pain over here. The scar which you left (inside my mind) before and after you've left me. You scolded me for no specific reasons. You tortured my mom like hell. You dumped me like you were not my dad. You prefer me to die to continue breathing. What did they really mean, dad?

2011, it has been three years that we're living without seeing each other.

Nevertheless, why you haven't transformed to be a better man, dad?

Have you faced to God, dad?

God is just right beside you, dad. He's waiting for you. Jesus is the saviour.

I hope that you will find a way out from your confusion labyrinth. You've been trying too hard by yourself.


2011. All of your family members involve in new lives. I hope you're too.
Be a better man, dad. There has been a huge gap between us with many relatives as the tough walls, separating us to be the normal dad-daughter.
People may hate you. People might find that you're sucks a lot. Remember, God still loves you, whoever you're.

2011. Thank you for everything, dad. I long you, really miss you so much.

I miss you, my perfect family........


with amour,

- Irene -