Transform me

14th August 2010 - 4.39 pm

I have just woken up from my sleep. A tiring sleep, and it's worth for me. HAHA. Oovoo-ing until 5am plus was soo amazing! Amazing tiring and enjoyable. Well, this week has spent my sleeping time for oovoo-ing, and I feel it's somehow good for me mentally. I feel warm inside having a great friend to talk and to share with. Although, I am not that extrovert declaring all my personal stuffs, but I'm sure one day I shall do. At least, I have somebody to listen to me about my frustration. God, I know my life is fun here, but I would like to thank for giving me lesson to be learnt.

One thing that I want to share, my room-mate. Argh! I'm not trying to say that she is bad, or she is not a good one to be my room mate. Well, definition of 'good' is different for people. We can't judge how good is 'good' subjectively.

Nevertheless, I was deeply hurt after finding out that she can't stand staying with me. She back stabbed me right in front of me during her phone call. W to the T to the H to the exclamation mark (!). I thought she is somebody mature, somebody who is really a 20-year-old woman. She is not a girl anymore, dude! Still, she is somebody who likes murmuring, and yelling at people whom she hated with rude word - bitch. Oh my.. her appearance is totally far away from her attitude. Definitely far far way from it. Yesterday was the first time I heard her murmuring about me at her phone call, referring me as a 'lap-sap'. Moreover, at noon, while I was sleeping soundly, she was rather mad, and (again) yelling that her friend is a bitch. What the heck it is?! Even, I never say something like "what the hell is ****, she is like a bitch. She never bought my ticket?"

Wah-lao-eh! Does ticket really matter?

Frankly, I don't like being hated, especially someone who stays a room with me. I admit, I did something so wrong, and I regret it now. I complained the whole things about you. I applied Halo-effect. Do you know why? Do you know why, girl? It is because I was too blind to judge you from your first impression. I was too stupid that my emotion was burnt by somebody called Jessica Meyer. I was damn so stupid to do such useless things. In contrast, I feel definitely comfortable after staying with you for a week, and I have changed my view towards you. Now, you told such history to your friends. You confide in your friends about me. You declared that you fucking hate me. YOU FUCKING HATE ME! FUCKING hate me?! F-U-C-K-I-N-G?

I nearly cried about it, girl. I lost my mood dramatically. I felt like falling apart. I hate being hated. I hate being a hatred. I fucking hate it! I swear.

God, I know, whoever hates me, even though all people in this world hate me tothemax, I'm sure, and I'm pretty sure that you are the only one who loves me no matter what. No matter how sinful I am. No matter how long I have neglected you. You always love people although people never appreciate you. You always forgive people although people have done something un-forgivable.

God, I have to learn to change my attitude. I am so lap-sap. That's it. Nevertheless, she complains my physical appearance. Rude she is, but I appreciate it. I welcome her complain (although she didn't tell me directly). Transform me, God. I am not wishing, but I will put my effort, so that you can value me from my effort. Transform me, God, to be someone ideal. I am almost 17 in 2-month time. I have to make differences.

God, thanks for designating Albert Liong to my life. I am glad. I appreciate his willingness to listen to me. I appreciate every single word he says. I appreciate every time he asks me for oovoo-ing. I appreciate every single smile that he has showed to me. I appreciate his laughter. I love staring at both his lovely eyes. I learnt something precious from him.

"Learn how to love people although...."

My cheeks are so chubby, and I looked so innocent. HAHA. Weird comment.

P.S.: Thanks God for granting him. I wanna keep him until the time.

with zillions of thanks,

-irene.rene.rene-

14th August 2010 - 6.37 pm

Rainy and dull Saturday

Hope I can sleep well, my room mate will stay in hotel with her sisters!