Recently, my classmates have made my day and turned me into a cheerful Irene. Oh yea, feel like a cherry in this second year :D Blush and smile a lot! Recalling back the feeling when people look and smile really soothes my nerve.
So, yeah, currently, my mom has known the news about the uber lovely (only) Indonesian classmate. My mom assumes that he is the son of her old friend, whom is (well...*cough*) wealthy and perfect (if I can say ;) ). Actually, the guy is so outstanding (like I can say). The 4 pointer for the whole year; well-known Indonesian among people in school; good attitude which makes everyone amazed in awe. Okay, anything, he is really a blessing from Him! :D
Above of those cheerful and nice explanation, truthfully, I am so sad. Pathetic, I may admit. I just don't understand why people always critize others on whatever they do. Hoax and gossips always strike hard on those famous people. I used to think that being famous is fabulous, because people will be amazed until faint when you shake their hands. However, reality is different. A total difference, I can say. What happens upon you is the vice versa. People acknowledge what I am doing, what I am feeling, and what I am loving. Those are the reasons why they put a lot of effort to pull me down. I may be doing sins to them in the past, and may be, my sins hurt so deeply. Who knows that my sins are unforgiven in their hearts? Who knows that they dislike me just because of what I have? Who knows about their hearts which filled with jealousy? And most importantly, who CARES about you, bay-beh?
Sometimes, the thick membrane that you stick on your face could just be torn one day. Not because that people or I tear the thick membrane, but you know, science is a universal knowledge. Cell are degraded by time; telomere is shortening by time, and oxidation happens every single minute. So, well, I can say that one day the barrier that you built will be demolished. By the time it's demolished, you must be hurt.
Now, I understand why it is written in Bible that "people who commit in Christ shall be critisized" Well, it's common, and it happens to almost all Christians in this world. The reason is simply because they never know the merciful and graceful Father. Sometimes, Father appoint you to go to His kingdom for repentance, but human, as what is written in Bible, is the most rebellious creature created by God. Reject, reject, and reject every opportunity which comes across. When the time is coming, you'll just regret and swallow back the shit that you've said. When you reject Father, He will keep approaching you, but He will abandon you when your time has come to leave this world.
In conclusion, I can summarize everything in some words:
I'm in the low level of my life.
Last good-night message:
Rene, met tidur ya..inget kamu berharga di mata Tuhan, and kita semua juga sayang kamu.
Right after reading it, my tears dropped for the thousandth time. Love gives me hope.
P.S.:
No wonder how many people asadfh me out there, there will be someone who will marry me at last. As long as I have my Father in heaven, my spiritual family, and some lovely people out there, my life is complete.
Pastor really understands how people feel:
WAIT and HOPE for and EXPECT the Lord; be BRAVE and of GOOD COURAGE and let your heart be STOUT and ENDURING (Ps. 27:14 Amp).
Lord, I'm still hoping for miracles to happen. I'm still holding my faith.
Again, I emphasize once again.
Those who lay down their swords to slay others will be perished by their own swords.
with anything,
Irene, xoxo
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