This post is truly dedicated to you, and I might either talk so much or keep it brief, because I'm in chaos. Yeah, somehow, I'm not in stable mood. Anyway, by the time you read this post, you'll know to whom this post is written, because I absolutely know that you will access through this URL during your spare time. Thank you for loving my writing although it's filled with so many unfamiliar words and those backstabbing P.S.-es. HEHEHE. Yea, thank you (once again) for really putting an effort to find this blog with your smart brain and perseverance :) It's really an honour attitude of you :)
Alright, back to the main topic, I really want to blurt every single thing over this post. Well, I assume that you've known me well, no?
First and foremost, you know that currently I'm head over heels over someone. You truly know the person, don't you? Furthermore, you have discovered my family issues through these blog posts. Truth to be told, it is the most complicated problem among all problems in my entire life. You might know how my mom behaves, how my mom feels the pressure, how my mom is stress and acts violently at home, but not my mom's attitude towards guys. Yes, towards guys. One thing that I can share (about my mom's attitude towards guys) in this public blog is: my mom suffers from great trauma. Alright, I won't elaborate the statement further, because it's quite an embarassing truth to be explained to public. In addition, she doesn't realize that she suffers from it, but it's shown from her behaviour. She is going through tough moment for years, and so do I. I can't stand with her attitude.
Truth to be told, I have been failed in a few crushes, because of her. Yes, I was being tortured at home because of such a stupid reason. Sometimes, I just feel that I don't want to go home; I don't want to see her fierce and angry expression. She really screams in rude words when I really don't want to obey her. She really tortures me; she always tries to affect me by telling fake observations regarding to the bad effects of having guys around me. Well, I never believe in her words, because she is a braggart in this case. In this case only, koko.
I really want to introduce you to my family when we've known each other very well, but I don't think it's a good idea. Frankly, I'm so jealous, seeing my cousins (younger and elder than me) have introduced their boyfriends/girlfriends to their families and my grandparents. Yet, I'm still single. However, if I have mine, I hope for such a big thing too. Before you're getting to know both my grandparents, you must get to know my mom, right? Now, do you realize the problem?
Sorry for explaining the concept too far. We've just known each other for a few weeks, yet (I think that) we've realized so many things which have happened around us. We have just known each other not very well, but guess what, our curiosity has done such a great thing. You go your way to be someone who is too imba compared to stalkers. I go my way to be an extreme gossiper. Honestly, I dislike to be a gossiper, but I want to discover so badly like the way I learn science whole-heartedly.
Right here, right now, I don't know what to do. I can merely do fervent prayer. Yea, the feeling of being so envious towards my cousins has failed me. The feeling towards my mom's attitude has really caused me to give up this thing. I'm incredibly down after confiding this problem in one of your friends in NTU. Yes, incredibly down. However, shall we go through this problem together, no? It depends on you, actually, whether you want to give up this thing or not.
Be strong, koko :)
This is not the end of everything, but let us together pray for it :)
I'm sorry, but.......- Lies - Big Bang
P.S.: Am I assuming too much? Will our friendship go like usual? I'm too afraid to publish this post.
P.S.: Egoism conquers everything in this world without any sense of humanity
with love and confusion
Irene, xoxo - ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment