Fake Diamond

Bonjour, fellas :)

I've been updating my blog with those short and brief posts lately. I just want to highlight whatever crucial issues which happened in my life recently. I find myself that I'm easy to forget my life- my personal issues, my to-do list, and my lesson. Sigh.

I don't know what is wrong with myself. Precisely, I don't know what is wrong with my organ. I always feel pain in my heart - right side of my body, near my chest. Regarding to what I've read from resource, it might be a symptom of heart disease. Gee, am I going to suffer such tough disease in my early age?

I'm living my life healthily. It might be a little bit too hard, I think. The last-three-year-ago life was a wreck. I slept for maximum  five hours per day. Then, I have my mind thinking of endless problems which never has its solution until this seconds. Sometimes, I feel so bad of myself, why I want to think so much. Why should I be a crazy workaholic for popularity? Why can't I let myself to rest for a while?


Recently, I feel so tired of my days. Everyday, right after I've woken up, I always fight with myself while deciding whether I have to attend class or skip class. I had skipped three classes recently, but I feel so innocent. I prefer loneliness for me. I need space for me to grow. I need peace for me to relax my mind. I've been so tired, suffocating my breathe because of economy crisis.

Now, I understand how one apologizes when she has seldom updated her blog.
I'm in the same boat with her...


I've succeed in adoting new life style in my life. However, people around me find that I'm weird. I eat oatmeal, and people call it 'SUCKS'. I eat raw salmon; people think that it's tasted so bad like hell. In fact, I love yummy food, and it's tasty, alright? :)

I want to comfort my life by getting rid of those shebang flirts. You guys are shyts, got it?

First, Edward, get out from my life. Stop chasing me and stop showing your 'pathetic' life by assuming that you will have no wife. Then, you implore me to married with you. GO AND FYL, okay?

Secondly, Erianto Tan. Stop being the guy next door for me, alright? We are nothing, and stop acting like we're couple. Stop putting on effort to be the same school with me, okay? GO AND ARRANGE YOUR LIFE!

Thirdly, my last ex. What the hell are you looking for from me? We've been in tough love before, and I surrendered from the relationship, because I couldn't stand with you. Having another new girlfriend the day after you broke up with me, and you showed me your couple photos to me? Please go away from my life, and go seek for another chio-bu to satisfy your pleasure, alright? Get far far away from me. I'm so anti.

I'm so stress of my mind today. I think that my mind is the one which caused my health to drop the its lowest level. I need my loneliness badly.

Typing 'badly' reminds me of a Medanese playboy who stays in hostel. I feel like want to give him hard spanks for hurting my friend's feeling. I saw him hanging out with another girl (with her 25-inch make up). GO and DIE!

Finally, holiday is approaching. I need not to worry about my skipped class. I can relax and inhale for a while. At least, there is an empty week for me to grow my passion back.

I'm scattered everywhere like a broken glass....

My programme chair said that skipping class without any specific reason for three times will cause us not to be eligible to take final exam. I have no opportunity to run away. Not anymore.

I shall celebrate my first result with Christmas gift for myself :)


with void,

- Irene -